The truth behind the rose

    
   I haven't posted lately mostly because the last was about my grandfather and a part of me doesn't really want to move on from that day. But this has been weighing heavy on my heart and I feel like I need to share. so here goes nothing.

  
   My first question for this post is: "What defines true love to you?"


Before I start I want you to read this quote:

 "If you love a flower, don’t pick it up. Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation."
-Osho


Now for my intent we are going to sub flower for rose simply because it fits for my purpose. Now the first reason I love this quote is it's so counter intuitive to our nature. We see something that we think is beautiful or lovely and we immediately take it with no thought of the consequences of our actions. If we examine this line "if you pick it up it ceases to be what you love." Simply stating if you take something away from its natural place it is no longer what you saw, and what you admired. The most important part to take away from this quote is that love is not about possession. It is about appreciation. We are going to pick this apart and look at what truth we can find in this quote.

 Now as with most of my posts I'm going to share a personal situation so that you can see the relation to a real circumstance. This is about a girl but for privacy reasons we are going to call her Jessica. I hope you enjoy it.


In the last five months I have experienced an interesting measure of trial. I choose this situation because to me I feel that I have chosen to follow a path that I may not want to adhere to but I feel it is definitely the right path. I fell pretty hard for this girl who I worked with. I know terrible blah blah... but you really cant help who you fall for.

Well, she is seeing someone and has been since I've known her. Now don't get me wrong I had no intention of this ever happening and actually tried to avidly avoid it. Regardless though things happen. You may ask me what this has to do with the quote. Well, in the way this unraveled I had ample opportunity to try and break them apart and make myself out to be the better. She would ask for my advice unaware of my feelings and it would have been simple to just talk her into leaving and trying to step in. But I didn't... I know a lot of people would say that I obviously don't care enough or "all's fair in love and war". But not everything is best. I chose to give her my honest advice while still standing behind her choices no matter what that meant. I can tell you it was definitely not an easy task. I actually told her several times that I can't answer her, because I knew I would want to be deceptive. And on days she wasn't feeling the greatest I wanted to break my own rules and just wrap her up and make her feel safe and comfortable. For any of  you that know me you know I am not a touchy person, I actually don't like being touched. But for her she is my best friend, and someone I love dearly so I want to act out of character to make sure she's taken care of. In the end nothing has changed I am still going to love her regardless, and I will continue to be her friend and be honest even if it hurts. To me I can show her no greater respect than trying my hardest to give her what I would hope someone would do for me.

   Now lets take the quote piece by piece and look at the resemblance of the quote:
 "If you love a rose, don’t pick it up. Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love."

I had the opportunity to try and take her, to break apart her relationship and claim one for myself. But what would that mean? I would be disrespecting not only her, but myself and him. Now she wouldn't die. But the point is that it would cause a chasm, and once she realized what I had done it would change the dynamic and it would destroy any hope that I thought I might have. The relationship that I have with her would cease to be, and it would very easily die right then and there.

"So if you love a rose, let it be"

This is pretty simple. you can't try to change someone else. Or try to move it into something different. If you love a flower you don't pluck it. You water it, you encourage growth, and you let it move and grow wherever it needs to so that it can be healthy. In my situation I chose to encourage her, and I chose to not impede growth. I gave her advice that was honest and tried my hardest to help her as best as I could.

"Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation."

This one is hard. We all have the tendency to try and snatch up what we love. We grab and claw and fight to remain in possession. But that's not what love is about. Now don't misinterpret my words being with someone is not to possess them. But manipulating, lying, or deceiving most certainly is about possession. When you appreciate  someone you can be with them but you don't need to hold on. You know that you can leave and come back and there they are. Growing more beautiful and flourishing in their freedom. Now with roses they have thorns and most that try to grab them will not be happy. But to someone who grows roses they see this as a necessary sacrifice. In relation I chose to care more for her well being and her happiness. I gave no care to my own feelings or wants, because she came first. That's appreciating.


I don't say all this to say I am a perfect guy or any of that. We all know that's not possible and believe me I made mistakes all throughout this happening. My point is not to show what I did. It's to show that love is different than we seem to think. So I point to Christ.


I believe that this quote accurately describes what Christ's love is like. He won't just take you. He will take care of you while still allowing you to be free to grow and bend and move however is necessary. He will appreciate you as you are even if you are pining after someone or something else. He will nudge you toward the right path but still allow you to make your own choice. And ultimately He will choose to let you walk away rather than rip you back to Him. He loves you regardless of if he has you. If you take anything from this I want you to remember that love in its purest form is caring for someone else even if it costs you your own heart.

So I ask again "What defines true love to you?"

It's simple really. True love is loving someone else more than you love yourself.



In all things

Love God
Love people
And always fight


S.O.T.B.